Bonjour everyone~ And welcome to the December 2020 edition of this blog!🎄🎅🏾❄️☃️🤶🏾⛄️ Click here to continue!
12/1 I purchased a new compact camera. Canon Powershot ELPH 190 20 mpx camera!📸
! I didn't do much. Hit up the mall. Went to Sephora and got these.
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| I ain't gone lie, I broke down looking at his images.😭😭 |
I never thought I'd see the day, I'd go on a website to find out he died. I still can't believe it! This blog post is about to be offensive and passionate at the same time. Goddamn it I loved this boy!!!
What can I say? Yesterday 8/27, I found out on Twitter about an actress passing away. She looked familiar, so I went to look her up. I scrolled down the comments in the article that said she was the third actress from this show who committed suicide. I was curious to know who else died. I saw Haruma Miura. I was like quit playing, he ain't dead! They kept saying it so I googled him. I saw his birthday and his death. I yelled NOOO!!! I saw articles that he had died of a suicide. And it was from cyber bullying. I had a feeling it was over that Attack on Titan live action because mothafuckas wanted to be a bunch of White people playing in that movie and not Japanese, because you know, it was a JAPANESE animated show! What you gone bully someone for taking a role that was offered to them? Why him? You can be critical of a movie without going out of your way to tell an actor to kill themselves and etc. I saw the movie for what it was but I guess that wasn't enough. I wanted to see the movie not only because I love AOT but because I hadn't seen Haruma Miura in almost ten years and I wanted to see him all grown up. And he still looked the same as he did back then, the facial hair was very attractive. I had a crush on him back in 2009, yeah I know he was fifteen and I was twenty-two. I didn't know he was that young because he had a very mature look. I thought he was one of the most beautiful guy I've ever laid eyes on. Beautiful smile. I came across a show called Bloody Monday and thought the main actor on the still image was cute(him). I downloaded all of the episode from either Live Journal or that forum I can't remember. And I loved it. From then on, I watched him in Koizora, Samurai Seventeen which showed his range in comedy, Gokusen and Crows Zero 2. I think CZ2 was the reason I went looking for him but can't remember because it's been so long ago... I used to do voice over for a fictional show with him, Shun Oguri, Hiroki Narimiya, Yuu Yamada-Oguri and Takeru Sato. He was apart of my happy time when I was obsessed with Japanese dramas. I thank him for being apart of that.
Haruma could have gotten a Black woman...
Haruma shouldn't be dead right now. He should be living on that farm he wanted, getting married and having kids. He was suppose to cremate his parents, not them cremating him. He should have left Japan. His whole death still confuses me. I know a lot about suicides in Japan. Most of the Japanese folks I was friends with were always depressed and struggling. I used to try to be there for them but they would push me away. I just don't like seeing people depressed or struggling. I was always there to offer support. I really, REALLY hope Japan takes suicides seriously! Thirty f＊cking years old! Why wasn't anyone there for him after that movie premiered, knowing he was going to get bullied for playing a 'German' character? Makes no sense, if he would have told me he was being bullied, I would have closed all of his social media, put our masks on and went traveling. I also think about COVID-19 affecting people. Because I ain't gone lie, this entire year has been f＊cked up for me. From me losing my other job, being in a deep depressive state, family problems and in general unhappy with my job position. I wonder him growing up had something to do with it but can't be sure. It's like that in America how these agencies will pick up these kids and by the time they're grown, they throw them to the curb after they done m0l3sted and turned them out. And that's why some of them end up committing suicide as well(especially my beloved Corey Haim). Also if they want to leave, like many, they end up dead under suspicious circumstances. F＊cking sad. Had no idea behind that beautiful smile, was pain. I have a feeling Amuse was hating that once he learned English, that meant he would be able to star in Western films and might become an even bigger star outside of Japan and they won't have access to his success. He's been in the industry since a child, imagine the sh＊t he's seen... I'm not sure what's going on with his family so I won't comment on it. If it's true about this family, I can relate. My family members put so much on me and expect me to provide for them. Creole Bella is suffering the same way. They fail to realize we have our own lives and if they had made better choices in life, they wouldn't have to rely on us to save them. Eerily it was alleged that he was still alive on his way to the hospital. WTF?
That video of Yu Shirota crying while he was performing was really sad. I remember him from Samuira Seventeen. Damn... I wonder how Takeru Sato is taking this.
I've been depressed for a long time. If anyone wonders why I hold such resentment towards people is because I never receive compassion for it. I was often told to get over it, push through it and etc. I get sick of people stigmatizing others who are dealing with pain different from them. But once they experience pain, they expect others to feel sorry for them. People make me sick. I really hope Japan starts taking suicide seriously. I wish our country pushed more towards awareness. I've been cyber bullied before. I remember around the first time I had access to chat rooms, I got doxed by a chick from Baton Rouge(you see the hatred I have for these people inaugurated), even earlier this year when I was almost doxed by this hard face b＊tch from Baton Rouge online too. I remember the death messages I would receive, people mocking mental illness and etc. I pushed through it, which is why I'm alone today. I don't talk to strangers online anymore. They can follow me all they want but I refuse to follow back. This is why I feel like they should never allow these celebrities to have social media. It's toxic! We don't need to know what they're eating, where they shop at, what they're doing, who they're dating and etc. I want to read about their latest projects. Let those pages be managed by their managers, not them themselves. Because they'll get bullied by these people who feel like since they have an account, they should be allowed to talk sh＊t to these people.
Here were some posts I had written about him back in 2009. My heart is broken. Poor kid. I should have been there for you. I'm sorry. You will never be forgotten. I love you, Haruma. May you rest in peace my angel...
Jan. 16th, Fri.- Why can't I ever find guys like Haruma Miura...?
Jan. 25th, Sun.- I had a dream about Haruma Miura. I think we were having s＊x in one scene. I'm tired of these dreams, I wish they were real! I'm listening to I want to know what love is by Foreigner. This song is the truth. :(
Feb. 15th, Sun.- I've had my heart broken so many times, that I've lost count. I quit. Unless Haruma Miura or any of the other hot J-actors miraculously show up at my door. But... Only in my dreams...
8/30 Sunday- I finished watching Gokusen 3. Haruma. <3
11/2 Monday- I had a dream last night that I was dating Haruma Miura, awww. lol It was on and off, it was like one minute, I was with him, another minute, I was with another guy. It looked like we were in a dancing clique together. My old classmates were in it, and I got tricked into joining an audition by myself, thinking that he was going to be in it with me. I wouldn't mind having Haruma as my man, but he's already taken so it's all good. lol
11/6 Friday- Another dream alert; this time, with Bi Rain in it. He was hanging out with this Black guy, and they came to my house. I kept trying to get close to him, just like I did in the dream with Haruma in it. Toward the end, he and I were together at the house, no clue where the Black guy went.
Don't wait. Call that person you miss, find that long lost friend or family member. One day it may be too late.
— RxS (@RxSlaughter) September 29, 2020