Bonjour loves~ Welcome to the March 2021 edition of this blog post. Please click 'Click Here' to continue.💚
I just want this month to grant me nothing but good luck, especially in finances. And also good health to family, friends and also myself.
I've moved to another department in my job, I will be doing background work and won't have to interact with customers anymore. It was time for a change although I will miss where I was, these customers are too much. I'm sick of them getting personal with me. I am still holding out hope that I'll get a job at one of a bigger company. My options are still open.
3/5 I had to stock up on some shaving stuff. They were all marked down for a dollar.
3/6 I had to rack up on some vitamins because it probably won't be long before Louisiana starts opening up. I really don't want that vaccine but I may have to get it at my job since it may be a requirement to travel. Ugh hate this! Since Texas is practically the only state that's opening that I am interested in going back to, I may not have to worry about being vaccinated right now. I have a homegirl at my job who is from the West Coast. I wish I could link up with her and go to Cali for the first time!
One of the survey companies ceased from sending me surveys so I went ahead and cashed out. No need to be holding on to something I worked hard for.
I purchased some Easter stuff from the store. I also had to get these Gyaru style charging cards.
3/8 I purchased these BDSM cuffs from online. They were really hard to find but had to get them.
I was going to wear them with the lingerie last month but they are just coming in today so maybe next year?
I got my samples in the mail.
Haribo Gummies, Kub Wipes and Blue Diamond Almond Mini Nut Thins
3/14 Got my goodies from The Icing.
I am unable to go to the Mall so I bought my St. Patrick's Day items online. Waiting on my stuff from Claire's next.
Every time I think about this month, I remember how back in the day, how fun Spring Break was especially when we had MTV. Those were fun times.
And lets talk about the elephant in the corner. Yes, after eleven years, I've decided to open my dating options to Asian men. I wasn't even going to mention this but decided to anyway. After all, I am a flip flopper. I just don't believe in limiting myself to one race of men. However, this doesn't mean I am giving up on White men because that will NEVER happen! So the question is why I've stopped being interested. There are two reasons, one it wasn't going anywhere. I am not in an area where there are a lot of Asian guys to talk to. And two, they are too obsessed with White women. This isn't nothing new, I just don't talk about it anymore. I was always more interested in White men because they are usually the first ones to tell me I'm beautiful before an Asian guy would. That's why Asian men were always second to White men. So may the best man win...🤵🏻♂️🤵🏼♂️
Edit- I just remembered I said last year during this month I was going to expand my options to Asian men.😂😂 lmao Click Here Well I mean it!!
It won't be like it was years ago, when I would attract those weird ＊ss females(especially Black ones) who were literally obsessed with Asians and Asian culture to the point where they looked like they were psychopaths. I am seeing that with the Kpop thing(I never got on the trend train). I used to love Jpop-Jrock. I remember how toxic those communities were, like I said, especially with the Black females. They latch themselves on to these interests to mask who they really are(crazy). I have been on the recipient end of these events many times. I am being lay-low about my attraction. I don't ever want to deal with these women anymore. I refuse to trauma bond with the 'outcast' Black girls. You can click on the link above to learn more.
3/15 Fedex out here baring gifts again.
This is my D.I.A. sailor dress. The black version of this dress is really hard to find! It's ok, I wear too much black as it is(I mean you can never get enough black clothes lol).
3/16 I have some sad news. As I was working and about to go to lunch, I received a phone call from my mother telling me that I had to clock out. I asked her why and she said my father was gone. I couldn't believe it. But it was true. I collapsed on the floor from seeing him lying there. I wished he had responded to me earlier before I left when I said I was going to work and I was coming back. The last thing I said to him was I love you. I never got to say goodbye. My heart is broken. I am going to miss my dad. It was just yesterday I was talking to him. And now he's gone. I was not prepared for this.
3/20 We went shopping at Rainbow and Burlington Coat Factory. I went on a splurge in Rainbow out of nowhere. Saw a lot of cute clothes. I've noticed all of them were all black. I mean, every single piece. Even down to the sandals below.
I also purchased some kawaii styled beads.
3/22 Today was the funeral. My brother and I both felt like Dad deserved better than this. We had no musician because he flaked out on us. My Dad's niece had to play on the keyboard which was f＊cked up. What type of place is this?? If I knew a good White funeral home, I would have taken him there because I knew they would have had up to date and up to par service. I wanted to film the funeral but was too disappointed in everything but the preacher did an excellent job. I wished my family members had kept their kids with someone else. I spoke at Dad's funeral and broke down. I would write more about his family but that's a personal matter. Trust me, I would spill the tea. I'm just done with his family, with the exception of a couple of them. I will miss my dad...
So my step brother accidentally baptized my feet with Lime Margarita...
Who delivers St. Patrick's Day stuff AFTER the holiday? Man...🙄
My pops was like my guarding angel. He protected me from the meanies in my mom's family. Whenever he was around, they didn't mess with me. When he wasn't, they would. I wanted more than anything to stay home and take care of him. I had diets I wanted him to try. It's just a lot I wanted to do for him, including venturing out of state to find him a good doctor. Dad and I used to go places together. We even used to watch the fire works together.
This video was our Godzilla review. He loved Godzilla...
After the wake the other day, I know my female family member and her daughter felt some type of way because I kept turning my head or back every time they took a picture. Damn right! They are too ghetto and weird! I hate to even go out with them because they too loud and abrasive. I don't want my image ANYWHERE on their social medias! Someone could recognize me and be like hey I know such and such, yeah that's the chick who works at blah blah blah. No ma'am. At least give a heads up if you're going to take pictures because I don't want anybody, family or not, to take my pictures. Only my Dad was allowed to take my photos. Like I said on Twitter: my job and social media are two different things.
Also after my dad's funeral, my mom's family couldn't wait to mention what I should do to my hair. I am going to say this one last f＊cking time, I AM NOT PUTTING DREADLOCKS IN MY F＊CKING HAIR! I know my hair is long but I've been managing my hair for over ten years now. I've had my hair in forty fucking hairstyles since childhood, and there isn't a damn hairstyle that is going to make men more attracted to me. Hell, when it was straight, they were calling me ugly then. So now what? I am going to wear my hair the way I want and I'm sick of folks' vanity! Most Empty Shell women where I live can't even grow their hair passed their shoulders like I have. You can't even get your lives together and stop having kids, yet you're worried about my f＊cking hair. Dad loved me regardless of my hairstyle you losers!
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| I will never forget you... He's holding my Ma*rs bag. Taken 12/16/17 I forgot I took this photo.😭 |
Some happy memories I've had with my Dad, was when we went to go see the Crow in 1994 at the theater. It was a new theater in town. I remember how they had crows all over the outside on posters and I think Eric Draven's eyes or face were on the top entrance. We also went to go to see Bram Stoker's Dracula. My father and I used to go to the movies a lot. We used to go walking a lot too when I was younger, which would explain why I was always small and in shape. I remember in the 80s, I was standing in the passenger's side of the car as he drove home one night. Also as a child, I had this small purple and white tricycle that I would ride on while he jogged over the railroad track. I even had a red tricycle. My father was always an honor roll student. I have tons of Honor Roll certificates, I think I gave them to him at one point. He used to rent video games for me(click here and here to view the list of my favorites) from a local video store and also a store that was called Delchamps that went out of business decades ago. My dad has a huge video collection that is still in our living room. When they ceased from making vhs, we moved on to DVDs and Blurays. He has a huge collection of those. Dad also introduced me to art as well as anime. We have an anime collection as well. Let me also mention that Dad was also a traveler. He was immersed in different cultures, which would explain why I have the unique name that I have. I remember being made fun of in I think second or third grade for having older parents. My parents being older, meant they were wiser. I could go to my Dad about anything and he knew the answers to it. He was old school, meaning he could be quite harsh but that was the way he was. Dad and I used to go out to eat these past few years, especially on my birthday. He and Mom cheered me on at my graduation even though it seemed like forever for me to pass. We had fun when we went to the Paragon Casino but was disappointed when the Natives weren't there. I remember Mom telling me how worried he was about me being at my ex best friend's house, he couldn't even sleep. Now I understand... Because her and her family are evil. I wanted to make more memories with him. Mom said he was proud of me for working. Rest in peace Dad...
As I make it up higher at my job, one of the last things my father told me which I feel needs to be shared here; watch your coworkers. And he was absolutely right, especially in regards to the wh＊re I've been mentioning on here. There are coworkers who will love bomb you to death so they can manipulate you. Secretly plotting to ride your coat tails because they want to remind you that when you make it, take them with you. Oh hell naw. You have to cut people like that out of your life before they get in too deep with you. Thank you, Dad.
Most people lose their parents in their late forties or fifties. I lost my Dad at thirty-five. He'll never see me get married or have kids. And that hurts me the most.
I found the David Carradine Tai Chi video on Youtube. I can't find the one we have on vhs because it's hidden within a bunch of other of Dad's videos on the shelf. It's been years since I've practiced Tai Chi. Like I mentioned to Creole Bella over the phone a week ago, I plan to go back to my old stuff I was into, including Martial Arts.☯️
I have been paying attention to people's reaction ever since I've removed my wig and taken my hair down. People are still rude but hey, should I care? Nope. At least I ain't wearing a bonnet, I wear scarves so you can see my hair.
3/27 I went to a family member's half ＊ss engagement party. We had to pay for our own sh＊t, luckily another family member took care of the tab for us. When ole boy proposed that sh＊t looked contrived and forced. I can tell she probably pressured his bum ＊ss to marry her ＊ss. I was telling Creole Bella over the phone that she could have gotten a non-Black man on her level or above. I said Black women like her who prefer Black men, will date down instead of marrying a non-Black man on her level. Who in the hell marries a man who has no ride, with gold teeth and grown kids? He was never going to marry her ＊ss other than to have a home and transportation. There I said it!
I really have to stop going to events such as this, as I've told Creole Bella, I don't like to be around people such as this. I like casual settings! The b＊tches she invited looked like they should be apart of RuPaul's Drag Race.
Eh, at least the food was good. lol Just hated that my nephew's stupid ＊ss baby mama wasted hers.😒
3/28 Spotted these at DT. Coloring The 80s coloring books!
I had been looking for these for over a year now.🖍️📚
3/30 Here's my Influester Voxbox of the month.
Shea Moisture Wig & Weave Tea Tree & Borage Seed Oil Residue Remover Shampoo and Coconut/Hibiscus Curl Enhancing Smoothie. These companies sure do love sending my ＊ss products with freaking coconut in it! 😞
And this concludes this blog post. ~sighs~ I don't know what else to add here. I've suffered many heartbreaks in my life, and I do mean, MANY. But losing both my cousin and my father, are heartbreaks I don't think I'll ever recover from. My brother and my mother are all I have of my father... If you would like to comment, feel free to do so below. Also if you would like to donate, here are the links:
https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/Afrojuku
Thank you for reading this~✌