Boujour everyone~ Welcome to the May 2022 edition of this blog post! Click here to continue!
Coming out of anther depressive month, I woke up to the sounds of thunder.🌩 However, I did sleep well despite what was going on in my mind...
5/1 I've decided to purchase more products to sell at my store. I told my mother that I will be returning to making t-shirts again.👚
5/2 Today would have been my Dad's 78th birthday. I miss him so much. I wished him a happy birthday. May is Mental Health Awareness month. It's a time to think about people who are going through things others aren't going through. Such as loss in the family, loss of job, loneliness, health problems and etc. Depression runs in my family and seeking help is frowned upon. What has gotten me through depression is always been my art, whether it's through drawing, writing or designing. Many of my talents came through my Dad. He enjoyed drawing and he was quite the storyteller. I feel like he had more to say. I wish he was here to tell me more. I remember when he and I used to sing old school songs together, especially Michael Jackson.
Some of my supplies popped in today unexpectedly under a different tracking number. I was been waiting on these to come in.
I love this Tweet!
Kim really gave BW a lesson in reality with all of the plastic surgery, BBL enabling is for the BC audience. She is now skinny and with a WM. These women got played again, left holding an empty bag. Idiotic body modifications for 'men' who won't even marry them. I've been looking at those Met Gala photos and those women showing off their flat butts. I already knew that BBL and big butt sh＊t was going to go out of style. But you have a community that will shame Black girls for having smaller butts, of course they are going to go attempt to get it bigger. Keep those small butts, quality men with money love women like you. I am going to keep trying to lose this weight and stay in shape. I don't want to find myself having to cuss anybody out for noticing my sudden weight change. It's not something I'm proud of. I've been shamed since childhood for having a small butt and made to feel less Black for it(not like it's a bad thing). Never listen to these pathetic excuses for human beings. They have their own insecurities going on ie. ugliness(inside and out) being the main one. I often have to remind them that being with those useless men doesn't benefit me at all. A life of misery. It's the way it is.
Speaking of working out, I have been contemplating getting some new exercise equipment. I just want a basic treadmill at least.
5/4 OK so you guys remember that crazy young chick I was talking about before in previous blog posts? Well, she told me one of her nightmares regarding a topic I have been studying. My main reason was because I enjoy interpreting dreams as well as ideas for a book I plan to write. Man was this a mistake. I couldn't even sleep last night! Felt like someone was in my room and pressing down my chest, and I could feel my soul fighting whatever it was. Looks I really need to stop talking to this girl because she might have been sending me bad luck, plus she keeps getting on my nerves the more I talk to her. She's not the person she thinks she is. Strange how I get the crazy label yet this chick is the pure definition of crazy. Constantly texting me and calling me out of the blue. You can tell some of these chicks don't have any friends with how they attach themselves to me(like demons). I have been sleeping well lately despite everything that's going on with me, until I started talking back to her. For all I know, she may be a demon in human form trying to pass off like she's 'good.'
ashanti I like to mind my business, eat fruits and salads, and drink water. Sometimes ya gotta accept that some people don’t have good intentions.. and everybody is not a “good person” with a “good heart”. Protect your energy at all costs, and remember to always ascend. ✈️
Kim admitted that she lost 16lbs so she could fit into that dress. I am still dieting as well. I feel lighter than I have before. Like I said, cutting back is HARD! But somehow I am doing it. Those cravings can be a pain but once I realized the errors in my ways regarding my weight.
5/5 One thing I like about summer(which I used to hate about) is that heat prevents me from eating hot food. So this is another good advantage of cutting back. Been drinking water, tea and juice a lot. I still eat, but only once a day.
Michelle-Men don't care about being attractive in the US. In other countries Men put more effort into their appearances.
BRI-If you really look at men now, a lot of them aren't even that attractive. Look at your dating apps and just really pay attention to how they look and live and talk.
mizanna622@Michelle -- Yes, them Europeans, man.
mizanna622I went to Spain, and I was damn, what are American men doing.
mizanna622They got stilts for legs and shaped all funny. (she's talking about BM and I can't stop laughing)😂
Lately, these chicks have been spitting out facts, just like the March blog post.
I forgot today was Cinco De Mayo. lol I had my usual dinner with the burrito, rice and tea. You can click on the following links for images of what I've had in the past. Here and Here
5/6 Got my PT in the mail along with my samples.
Glad® ForceFlexPlus with Clorox™ Eucalyptus & Peppermint and Hallmark Video Greeting Cards. The scent is pretty strong. I actually need this scent to ward off any evil that's around me right now.
5/7 My Voxbox finally arrived!
It's the Splat Melts VoxBox. I got the dark chocolate and blueberry mix!
And here's my beautiful dress from Forever21.
I've been paying attention to this retailer as well as a few others. I've mentioned on Twitter how they're bringing back 90s style fashion. These clothes reminds me of those clothes from those 90s catalogs such as Delia, Moxie Girl and Air Shop.
I whipped up another one of my smoothies, this time, I added oranges and apples to it. And man!!! That sh＊t was GOOD! I even gave my mother some of it. I could drink this sh＊t everyday!
5/9 I have been busting my ＊ss off online. Saving up cash and putting miles into my airline accounts. Was glad to hear from my ex coworker who hit me up lately. I'm just glad I haven't heard from that dodo bird girl from my old job.
5/10 This screenshot gave me flashbacks of that demon from 2020.
Anyways, here's my latest freebie!
VERB GLOSSY SHINE SPRAY WITH HEAT PROTECTION
Key Features:
Bakuchiol: a plant-based retinol alternative to help deliver deeper hydration and shine.
Castor oil: coats the hair shaft for increased glossy shine.
Peach oil: rich in omega oils, to help hydrate hair and increase shine
Rosehip oil: vitamins A, C and E + antioxidants to help nourish, lock in moisture and add shine
Squalane: olive oil based hydrator to replenish moisture, seal and help protect future damage
Glad that I can use this product as a stand alone as I don't use styling tools in my hair anymore.
5/11 I was listening to this BW on YouTube and I have to admit, she talks WAY too much about her personal life. The more she talks, the more she reminds me of every single older BW I've met, including those in my family. The amount of desperation these women put themselves in is down right sad( but I don't feel sorry for them). Looks like there were women supporting her, I wish I had that type of support, besides Creole Bella. The others are in relationships or married up here trying to push me into dating or sleeping with random men, even though they don't do this. A bunch of weirdos. Like I said, flashbacks of late 2005 with those fat and ugly BW who abandoned me after they found out the Asian guy I was liking stopped talking to me and they blamed me for it. I've had better support with WW but you have to learn that these women are miserable and to keep them out of your private life.
Remember this quote from a year ago -Never let some Black folks to know your dreams, they will pray for it to become a nightmare- Still remains true til this day.
Also, for the record, there are White and non-Black men out there who are attracted to bigger women. One just posted their images yesterday.
I think this lady's problem is she comes off too desperate and putting him on a pedestal before he even proves himself to her. She wants this guy to pay her bills, like wtf, this man isn't your husband ma'am. It's so much I can say about her but sheesh these women have all types of weird ＊ss personalities and problems. This chick I'm talking about just needs to stop it with the worshiping of White men. Even I have my options open to Asian men as well as other genders. I like White men but if I find a wonderful Asian guy who'll love me more, then that's who I'm going to be with. However, I am suffering the same issues with White men, with the descent ones being already taken, I don't know why this chick is including HM. I do NOT like HM! They used to get on my nerves a long time ago and they are BM sympathizers, also they give me DL vibes. -A lot of their actions and mannerisms mirror the bm. They talk, act, and dress just like they're auditioning for a bad hip-hop music video. I'm not impressed. - Exactly! They also got on my damn nerves at my last job. The only difference between them and BM, is that they actually contribute to society as far as building. But I wouldn't date those men if they were the last men on Earth! HELL NAW!
Here's my Lisa Frank cookies. I had no idea they made them!!
5/14 I woke up this morning feeling absolutely terrible! Depression had kicked back in but I had this message pop up in my head; I really don't have any friends. I had to think about this, because of the situation with the Instagram post. Here's what I wrote: Photo taken 4/12/22 This month is #mentalhealthawareness something very personal to me. Health problems, #grieving and #depression. It's ok to get help but for me, not everyone who 'helps' 'cares.' Sometimes the 'help' just might be #Mephisto in disguise. Check on your folks.💜💗
#maroon #burgandy #black
5/16 Got my sample in the mail from Glamglow.
It's a nice size too. Looking forward to trying it out.
The phone rings and it's for my brother. He's known this lady for years. She's the one who helped us score tickets to go see Bohemian Rhapsody four years ago. What intrigues me about her, is that she talks to my mother, to see how she's doing. He often tells me about his friends. Then I take a look at mine, excluding one, to see that they're not as loyal to me as his are to him. I have been overwhelmed with sadness because all I can think about, is the fact that Dad isn't here anymore. I want to move out of Louisiana so much. There is nothing down here but pain and suffering. I am reminded of the people who screwed me over and how things are never going to change here.
5/17 I had to go to freaking jury duty today. I was there for two hours and boy was mine and Mom's anxiety acting up. Glad we were dismissed and I got paid the same day. Feel good to make a little money outside of working. I enjoyed spending time with Mom and really appreciate her for being here for me. I bought some t-shirts but need to get more for the heat transfers.
I purchased some pride items from Walmart. I would have gotten more but I am on a budget at the moment.
5/19 I went out to do some errands. And I ran into that ex coworker again and another one who I hadn't seen in months. She had been left that job. They were so lively and I'm happy for them. They were encouraging me to work there with them. I will think about it.
What's a Pride Post without Kawaii Kakes!!🌈🎂
I noticed that on IG, that dodo had unfollowed me. Guess what I did? Unfollowed her and blocked her phone number. Stupid, stupid girl with ugly fiancé. Had the nerve to call me yesterday telling me over and over how she misses me at work. You'd think we were lovers.🤮 It was weird and it made me uncomfortable. Creole Bella and a few others have told me they miss me, BUT I'VE KNOWN THEM FOR TWENTY PLUS YEARS! Like gah!
Tresa Richardson Telling a Mammy to close her legs is like telling a dog not to bark
So according to this quiz, I am a health fanatic, trend setter and tech savvy. Sounds about right. lol
I'm not gone lie, that EDC looks really fun! Giving me ideas for a party I want to do. You'd never see anything like that down here, unless it's in bleh New Orleans but that's pushing it! I love the colors, the lights and the whole atmosphere. You don't have to worry about people judging you and insinuating that you're r＊tarded because you love rainbows. Are you shocked? Well, that's what this light skinned bum a＊＊ monkey at my last job insinuated to me because I chose to represent my own style at work! Meanwhile, he wore tattoos and cleaned our p＊ss and sh＊t at work. I've mentioned this in this blog post. But anyway, I could see myself working there... Wish this was showing on tv. I saw the receipts from this celebration and man this a job I need to apply for. LMAO!!! I found these images randomly but they scream Harajuku!!
5/23 Here's my Differin Acne Body Cleanser.
I am actually using it as a facial cleanser and it's pretty damn good!
5/24 I checked the scale to see that I have lost weight! I feel like I haven't seen 120s in a while. I look forward to losing more weight. I just don't want this on me and I'm sick of the you know whose, looking at me. My mom's sister has been helping me with my weight journey by bringing healthy products to me.
5/25 I woke up this morning and decided to finally try out this Splat Melts in Chocolate/Blueberry. My verdict, it's a complete MESS! I didn't have to use the bleach because my hair is already bleached, from what you guys can see. I will save that bleach for the future incase I want to bleach again, even though I said I was done bleaching. This stuff ruined my favorite old night shirts but I'm glad it's a one time thing. I personally like Manic Panic hair color dyes. But, here's my new hair.
I told my mother my hair is going to eat this sh＊t and I don't see this stuff lasting no longer than a month in my hair.
5/30 Got my second sample from SkinCeuticals.
I overheard my mother telling someone over the phone that we won't be eating at Taco Bell anymore. You guys can recall how I mentioned on Twitter how these fast food businesses are short on employees and how I thank the ones for what they're doing. But at this location, despite it being short, we probably should have passed on even staying and ordering. There was a BM working as the cook and he stepped out to tell us that we can order on the kiosk. Some people prefer to communicate with an actual person. And they wonder why these businesses want to incorporate automation to replace humans at these jobs. I keep telling you these people are job killers. Horrible attitudes, bad quality foods, what can you expect? After we ate at this location, we got sick, like we had been food poisoned. I don't trust these men over my food anyway. Probably put some warlock magic on the food. I could tell by looking at his eyes he was evil. We need to stick with occasionally going to casual restaurants.
5/31 This month has been an emotional rollercoaster as far as my depression. I am glad that I was able to get rid of some of my issues, especially these narcissistic a＊＊ ex coworkers.
If your parent passed after a long illness, you may have had more time to prepare, but no amount of preparation makes your grief any less significant when it hits. You might still feel stunned and disbelieving, especially if you held out hope for their recovery to the very end.
Some people find comfort in the distraction of work, but try to avoid forcing yourself to return before you feel ready, if possible. People often throw themselves into work, taking on more than they can comfortably handle to avoid scaling the ever-present wall of painful emotions.
I feel this. I had been crying for days over my Dad. I was telling my sibling that it's depressing in this house. It's depressing being in Louisiana. All I want to do is get away from here. I feel alone here, like I have no one. I refuse to have anything to do with my family because they are toxic and they're just going to disrespect me over my love life, my weight, and yes, my Father. This is why I need to get away. I sat up here and purchased more stock so I'm stuck down here for more months. I hate it. I felt like I had to do this because my business had been booming and I thought I could add more items to it. I'm also trying to get it together so I can start on these accessories I want to make. All of the supplies are here but... I just can't get myself to even start on them. More things to figure out.
I really want to sit down with that sibling and tell them to get their health in order. Because Dad is gone. I am doing everything I can to stay healthy and live longer. Dieting and such has been a struggle as I've said before but it's the best investment ever and it pays off. I am done with purchasing groceries from Walmart. I hate that store! Glad that there are plenty of businesses and family owned businesses I can spend my money with.
And this concludes this blog post. If this post has been useful to you, feel free to share, comment and submit a donation. Au revoir~✌
