Bonjour a-tous~ Click here to continue...๐๐๐
Wow... What a month to start off with September... I received news last night that my step brother had collapsed on the floor from my other brother. Mom and I went over as fast as we could. Only to be delivered with bad news that he had passed away. I walked in and saw his body lying on the floor. I even went over and sat on the floor, holding his hand, telling him to wake up. A lot of odd occurrences have been happening prior to this. He normally would receive a gambling card but this month, he didn't. My brother told me that his stuff fell over in our garage for no reason. Then I spotted a huge moth, flying around the door and I looked up the meaning for it to say that it's a sign of transition, growth, death and a message from the afterlife. Mom told me that there was a small moth flying all around me and I smiled at it. I don't know what else to write here but I could be petty and mention how certain family members all of a sudden want to cry over his passing but just five minutes ago, he was this and that to them. I never judged him, sure, I wished he would have changed his ways. But I never stopped talking to him. We haven't spoken to each other since July and that hurt me a lot. He was like the only other family member outside my brother and Mother, I could talk to. I just wanted to spend one more time with him. He was always there to go to weddings, funerals(as a pallbearer) and now, we have to bury him. I'm going to miss you big brother. I'm sorry for what happened to you. I wished you could have just called me and told me what was wrong. I was hurting just as much as you did when Dad passed away. He was the only Dad you knew. I am contemplating on attending the funeral but I really can't stand my step sister(kinda wished it was her who passed). I am not on good terms with my family and unfortunately, nothing will change.๐
I'll miss you... I hated that he wished for death so much that it finally came. Stress ain't no joke! I say this all the time: PLEASE CHECK ON YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY!!!
His ex gf told me that he said to her that 'if there's one person, who is my baby, that's Xin. Xin is my baby!' Why did she tell me this?๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ He introduced me to a lot of games such as DOOM and A Bug's Life from what I can remember. He's the reason I knew about Iron Monkey.
Who is going to come to the house unexpectedly and call out my name? Who is going to sit out in the yard with me so I could listen to his problems? Who is going to inbox me letting me know he's on his way and see me soon?๐
I had nightmares about my step brother dying back on June 3rd 2019 and April 19 2020. I think us walking in and seeing him on the floor, was the exact way he died in the dream. The second dream involved him being injured on the ground with a head injury. I even told Mom to tell him to watch his back. And I will say this, it's interesting to see all of the folks who talked crap to him, used him for a ride and thought he was the worst human being in the world, dedicating posts to him over his passing. I plan on keeping my distance from these people at the funeral and afterwards. As he's said in the past, he was the refuge of the family. So am I!
9/2 I have no one to talk to anymore... I was glad I was able to get on the phone with Creole Bella again. I've decided not to talk to the family again. I was already like this but I am going to continue to keep my distance.
9/4 I'm hanging in here folks. Just a bunch of drama and division going on. I'm just sticking with my friends and the count on one hand amount of family members I do get along with.
Tonight, I watched Twilight of the Warriors: Walled In. It wasn't in English subtitles and I wasn't able to tell what was going on. I will watch it again in the future once they get some subtitles for it.
9/5 I saw this Vitamin chart on X and thought I'd share it here.
If it's of use for you, let me know in the comment section!
9/6 What in the blue hell is this family's problem with hair? I heard my evil step sister ask her sister about her hair. Then Mom tells me that one of her demon seed grandkids asked her about her hair. Then the other step sister's son in law asked her about her hair. Why does he care? He works at Walmart, married with three kids he can barely provide for. Old ＊ss! I had to go off on another family member for touching my hair that night of my brother's passing, because she asked me about my hair. Apparently, we all got bad hair. Who the f＊ck cares? I'm not about to listen to two b＊tches who are married to nonexistence husbands! Now you guys see why I avoid these bums? They don't have a damn thing to talk about but Mom and my other step sister better start checking these folks!
Tonight, I watched The Bullet Vanishes. I just needed some cheering up.
9/7 The Wraith came on today which caught me by surprise when I saw it on the guide. I hadn't watched this movie in years and it's one of my favorite 80s movies. I loved anything with the Sheen/Estevez were in. The ending always made me sad but it makes me sadder, knowing I too, lost a brother.
So today, I heard about the whole Mielle Organics situation. I do plan on joining that lawsuit if they have one online to sign. That rosemary styling creme damn near took all of my hair out! I don't recommend that at all! I've used their hair mask, leave in conditioner(rosemary/mint) and the rosemary mint oil. I do like the oil, even though it's not as strong as Kim Kimble Miracle Hair Oil Repair & Renew. I used the entire mask and almost used up the leave in. I don't recommend that either. I think it depends on the person. This hair product that was sent to me this week probably has something to do why I am able to detangle my hair. Any other time, I'd have hair all over the floor. My hair is fine... For now...
I finished watching Alone In The Dark. Watching this made me a bit sad because I was watching this last week, hours before I found out the bad news. Then I checked out this game:
Waffle Cone Willie
I thought the design of the ice scream truck with the demon on it was rad! This was only a demo. I can't wait for it to come out so I can watch more of it!
Killer Klowns from Outer Space came on Svengoolie tonight. I thought that was quite a coincidence... I ordered two stuffed cheesy breads and a free marble cookie brownie from Dominos. The food was good for a change.
9/8 Still more fuckery going on with what's going on. My brother deserves much more than this. Time to put egos to the side and focus on sending him a well deserved send off. This is why I want to get far away from this toxic family!
Video game of the Night
CONFUSION
Interesting game with some good quotes in it:
We are our own devil, and we make this world our hell- Oscar Wilde
Maybe this planet is another planet's hell- Aldous Huxley
Hell is Truth Seen Too Late- Thomas Hobbes Leviathan
I can't believe the last time I seen my brother was June 22nd...๐ I've had family members who haven't spoken to him in two years. Reminds me of those fake heaux on my IG following who hadn't spoken to me since my Dad passed away in 2021. Who in the h＊ll goes around not speaking to someone that long?
9/9 I had a dream about my step brother. The family was outside and I walked up to him. He turns to me, crying a lot, saying 'out of everyone, I am going to miss you the most, Xin.' Then I ran into his arms and he hugged me. I said yesterday, I hope I start seeing him in my dreams.
With Arms Wide Open...
I looked on Facebook to see that my nephew(my step brother's son) erased everything off his page. I wish I could talk to him. Edit- Looks like he's back?
9/11 Hurricane Francine came to pay us a visit. The lights kept flicking off and on until they finally went off. I f＊cking hate living down South!
9/12 The power finally came back on. Along with the cable surprise! It usually takes Cox hours to get back online! There was this snowboon who told Mom he's glad he has lights. I asked her yeah because you live on the White side too, right? Get the f＊ck outta here! Anyway, I was glad I had gotten my product test stuff over with before the power went off days ago.
9/13 I went to the laundry mat again with Mom. I had to ask the older Asian guy where he's from and he says he's from Taiwan. He asked me if I knew of Taiwan, I said yeah, used to have 'friends' from there. My step sister told me they've been here for a long time. I don't go to these type of places so I wouldn't know. lol
One of the managers from that job from last year finally unfriended me on Facebook. I saw this Black de-men and White femon unfollowed me on X. Not sure why they were following me to begin with when a simple look at my timeline would tell you what I'm all about. I want nothing to do with either group!
I exercised today and I feel like I haven't done this in a long time. I need to get back to doing this.
My male relative came over today. He told me that I have a reddish brown skin tone like I've been out in the sun. Well, my Dad had this complexion but was lighter than my brother and I.
9/14 I didn't attend the funeral today. Not because I didn't want to go, but I was told I couldn't go because of my refusal to wear a wig. Yes, I wasn't allowed to see my brother for the last time because of hair. Am I cutting off family? Yes I am. I mean, I ain't talking to none of these fake ＊ss muthaf＊ckas! They weren't even on good terms with my step brother. In one of the entries below, he's even mentioned that he's a refuge and had no family on either side. And it applies to me too, I too have no family on either side. A bunch of brain dead f＊ckheads I'm stuck with! It was worst when my cousin and father died and now my brother? I know I'm all alone now...
I haven't used the travel study websites in a while. I decided to take a couple of surveys because I need to focus on what I need to do. I have a free trip but have no one to go with. Should I care at this point? I'm taking a break from social media, excluding X. No one is active on there so I'm safe to post whatever I want on there. I basically told them all but one, to don't ever contact me again.
Video Game Of The Night
้ค้ช(CHUXIE)
This game was interesting? lol
9/16 Product test finally arrived and boy, do I feel like sh＊t today. I am so depressed that I almost can't feel it. I had been thinking about, when it was me, Dad and my step brother who hung out years ago. The three most hated people in the family. Now, it's just me. And it's tearing me up knowing there isn't anything I can do.
Freebies of the Day
La Roche-Posay Mela B3 Dark Spot Serum With Melasyl™ + Niacinamide(This sample took two months to get here!)
Avatara The Wake-Up Call Eye Cream
I'm at the hospital with Mom. I will not disclose what's wrong but if any parents who has lost a child, you can imagine what happened. This is me inside of the sitting area.
It looks really nice.๐
9/17 I went to visit Mom at the hospital. Here's my outfit of the Day
9/18 I've been at the hospital with Mom these past couple of days. I spent the night with her yesterday and we're just getting back home. I told her not to let her family stress her out. Already lost a husband and now a son, leave her alone! Plus I got sick of those Black b＊tches as nurses (with the exception of the light skinned ones). A bunch of dusty ＊ss losers who have to work for SNAP benefits and their bum ＊ss Black baby daddies. Women with the ugliest sons.
Here's what I ate today from the cafeteria.
Mmmm Pizza!! I didn't get to take a picture of what I ate yesterday but it was two cheese burgers, French fries, Minute Maid Fruit Punch and four sugar cookies.
I've shut down the GoFundMe and Mom tells me we'll never do this again. I said yeah they made a complete fool out of me. That's another reason I am staying away from the family, including my Father's side who contributed nothing(edit for correction a cousin helped Mom), even when he passed! I don't want his fake ＊ss friends(his dawgs) speaking to me or anything! Thank everyone(excluding the Black b＊tch from Cali) for donating. I'm so exhausted from everything that's going on.๐
Video game of the night
ๅฎถๅฑๆข็ดข -Japanese House Exploration
9/19 I went to the doctor with Mom. The White folks here were kinder to her than those big back, ugly Black b＊tches at that hospital were. Her White male doctor said I was beautiful. But I had on a mask and I really don't need anyone to tell me I'm beautiful... Anyways, I'm glad they treated her well, because she's going through so much and feels alone, especially when Dad died. And now her own son? She doesn't need these mean ＊ss nurses with man problems giving her a hard time. I plan to start speaking up more for her.
Oh wow this product test is Korean skincare! I have a few Korean skincare products but not too much. I heard it's the best. I remember Japanese skincare was the best at one point. lol
Freebie of the Day
Scunci Effortless Beauty Flexy Stretch Hair Comb Headbands Black Tortoise Shell and Clear 3 Count
I'm not sure why they sent this but whatever...
Video game of the Night
The Yamamura Estate
Based on Sadako from The Ring
9/20 I had a really bad day today. First, it started off with the Black chick at the funeral home making a comment about my hair and suggesting that I hot press it. B＊tch, you don't have no f＊cking hair, worry about your own sh＊t! And then at Crapmart, this White m＊thaf＊cka decides to move up behind Mom and I and start putting his stuff on the conveyer belt, knowing there were others around. I kept my calm but if I had a gun, I would shot him in the f＊cking chest. Like, I'm sick of Black people and I'm sick of White people. I should vote for Kamala, just to spite losers like this!
Here's what I got from Crapmart
Edit- Had to return the lights(cropped out) because the cord isn't long enough.
And here's what I got from Dollar Tree.
I really need to hold off spending until I'm able to go gambling again because funds are getting low(wallet wise). I just want Mom to get better.
I'm eyeing other states to go live at. I'm tired of the people down here. Tired of the low wages too. And I want to get away from my family. I even deleted their numbers off my phone. Louisiana is becoming more of an unlivable sh＊thole than before. Every election year, you have to watch your back from these stupid White folks. and I'm not here for it.
9/21 Today, I decided to sit in the lawn in my step brother's lawn chair. Mom told me that he loved that chair. He really did. I am going to miss seeing him sitting in this chair. Then when I was in the house, I was looking for my Halloween cups because I had shown Mom the new one I have. I was about to go back into the garage until I heard something fall in the kitchen near these pots. Then I checked the pots to see them in there. I guess that was my brother and Dad showing me where they were. Thank you both!๐
Movies of the Evening/Night
The wild blade of strangers
Fury 12 Hours
Hunt the Wicked
Andy On going on a damn rampage with these movies. Like damn, slow down! lol๐
9/22 Today was boring as hell!
Movie of the Night
To Live through Death
I haven't seen Louis Fan since Ip Man. He looks great!
9/23 I need to make a video one day about why folks are leaving Louisiana. It's time for me to make new memories somewhere else. It's too depressing here. Even when I was looking out of the window that night at the hospital, I was thinking about my bad memory of working by that Mall. I've got nothing but bad memories and it's getting worst the more I continue to live down here. The dumb＊ss people down here aren't making my life any better either.
9/25 I ran some errands with Mom. I picked up this Soapbox Oh My Growth Vitamin Booster Treatment from Crapmart. I hope it works on my alopecia parts!
9/26 I've been on edge ever since I got up this morning. I told Mom that I woke up wanting to cry. I'm lost, confused and heartbroken. As I've said on X, I almost got into it with this bad built, bad body, no dressing ＊ss Black b＊tch at the insurance office over her yelling out 'excuse me' to Mom. I yelled back 'she's coming!' I'm f＊cking sick of them and White men. I know in the past, I've put these two on a pedestal but over the years, after realizing that neither one of them have done a damn thing for me, is why I am the way I am today. They are just as bad as their counterparts.
@blacknbougie8021
9 days ago
N this is just one of many reasons that my disdain for Tyrone will never equate to Brad worship. Brad is more rich & powerful than Tyrone but both like to take ppl out when they feel slighted.
The only thing that made my day today, was this elderly Asian lady smiling at us at Albertsons. Best believe, who my target audience is. I don't need Black women to support me. They can eat ๐ฉ right along with White femons! I saw that Greyhound bus and all I can think about, is taking one right out of here!
Freebie of The Day
e.l.f. Cosmetics Stay Cool Primer Stick
This looks really cool! I don't wear makeup that much but I will definitely try this out! The weather is getting cooler, probably should have gotten this months ago. lol
9/28 Freebie of the Day
Dr. Barbara Sturm’s SUPER ANTI-AGING DUAL SERUM
Today, I watched A Witness Out Of The Blue. This movie was really good. Louis Koo be in some fly ＊ss sh＊t!
Then tonight, I checked out The Exorcism. Not a bad movie but it does have a low rating. I am guessing it's due to the L parts in it. Chloe Bailey won me over in that part. lol
9/30 I ran errands with Mom and my step sister. I ended up getting two smashburgers(one triple, one double)๐ต๐ซ from Sonic. Hey, it was buy one get one free! Plus that slush. I've been keeping my spending under ten dollars which is good!
Ahh! Creole Bella got me this super kawaii tote bag!
My Mom and step sister loved it! Thank you so much!!
And here comes a closer to yet another dismal blog post! ~sighs~ What else can I write here? RIP big bro. If you've found this post of interest, feel free to comment, share and submit a donation. Au revoir fiends~✌
Thank you for the memories(you too Dad)๐:
http://www.afrojuku.net/2012/12/merri-christmas.html
http://www.afrojuku.net/2013/02/jingle-jingle.html
http://www.afrojuku.net/2016/09/lauberge.html
http://www.afrojuku.net/2017/03/throwback-thursday-xin-lins-mardi-gras.html
http://www.afrojuku.net/2018/04/easter-wrestlemania-and-going-back.html
http://www.afrojuku.net/2018/12/a-meh-birthday-and-christmas.html
http://www.afrojuku.net/2019/05/cinco-de-mothers-day.html
http://www.afrojuku.net/2019/12/the-fabulous-one-joyeux-anniversaire.html
http://www.afrojuku.net/2020/12/fine-as-wine-and-thirty-five.html
http://www.afrojuku.net/2021/03/march-into-golden-rainbow.html
http://www.afrojuku.net/2022/07/july-2022.html
http://www.afrojuku.net/2022/12/fetes-danniversaire-et-de-noel.html
http://www.afrojuku.net/2024/01/bonne-annee-2024.html
http://www.afrojuku.net/2024/02/if-you-asked-me-toosaint-valentin-2024.html
http://www.afrojuku.net/2024/04/april-fools-2024.html
http://www.afrojuku.net/2024/05/may-cinco.html